


Blue and White Jacket

by twerkteamlevi



Category: Free!
Genre: Kidnapping, M/M, makoto is mentioned about once, rintori implied, sad fic, triggers(???)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-02
Updated: 2016-06-02
Packaged: 2018-07-11 21:23:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7070923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twerkteamlevi/pseuds/twerkteamlevi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nagisa gets kidnapped and goes missing for three years.<br/>Just when Rei thinks he's ready to move on, he gets an unexpected call that will turn his life around.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blue and White Jacket

  
I sigh reluctantly as I adjust my bow tie.  
It's too tight and it feels like its choking me, suffocating me.  
I can't believe I'm doing this. Going out to some mixer because Makoto had insisted I do so, that it was time I moved on.  
How could I?  
After I button my suit jacket, I realize I'm crying, fingers brushing along my tie.  
This used to be Nagisa's favorite. A deep maroon color with tiny pink butterflies on it. He had bought it for me in honour of him moving in-finally.  
He would fix it as we stood by the door, having tied it haphazardly in my rush to get ready. I may seem organized, but I'm constantly rushing about.  
Much like the morning I lost him.  
It had all been business as usual. Nagisa seeing me off as I went to the lab, fixing my tie, kissing my cheek, telling me, "I love you, have a good day," and me repeating the same back to him.  
The day had passed just like it always did. Except when I got home. Nagisa wasn't waiting in the kitchen like always, dinner already done.  
No. He wasn't even home. I told myself to stay calm. Nagisa had probably just gone to the gym, though he usually only did on Thursdays. That day was a Monday. I remember it so clearly in my head. The frantic texts, calls, not sleeping all night. As soon as the sun rose, I knew something was wrong. So I went to the police station, filling out so much paperwork it gave me a headache. I had papercuts for days because my hands were shaking as I tried to fill out the information. I handed them a photo of him, one of the few he actually let me take: the Sunday I had asked him to move in, his joy evident in his expression as he held up his key. Days went by. Months.  
That day was 3 years ago.  
There had been so many nights that I went without sleep. I missed work. I did everything I could to find him. I made posters, even went on the news. The police claimed it was a serial kidnapper. That he had kidnapped other short men with bright eyes. It pained me to know that some creep was-I can't even think it.  
So many nights I had thought about the awful things they must have done to him.  
I'm brought back to reality when my phone goes off. I ignore it, thinking it's Makoto bothering me again, and I instead go to sit at the kitchen island, glaring at the paper I had been dreading to sign.  
It was the paperwork for Nagisa's declaration of death. I wasn't sure I could go through with signing it. Something told me I shouldn't. But I always thought that way. I could never get rid of his stuff.  
My phone went off again, and I continued to ignore it. Makoto could be a pain sometimes.  
I chewed on my lip as I fiddled with the corner of the paper, heart pounding as I considered signing it.  
I missed him and I didn't want to let him go. I didn't want to let go of his bright smile, his beautiful eyes. His crude humour and his wonderful way of dancing when something good happened, standing on his toes as he spun and sashayed around the room. I didn't want to let go of his soft hands that fit into mine perfectly. I didn't want to let go of all the lovely days I had with him, all the love and all the passion.  
Of course I missed his love-making. But whenever it came to mind, it almost made me sick, because all I could imagine was what those creeps who had taken Nagisa were doing to him.  
I'm again pulled from my thoughts as my phone vibrates, alerting me that I had a voicemail.  
I sighed, relucatantly picking it up and pressing play on the recorded message.  
"Rei," the voice is clear. One I hadn't heard in a few months. It was Officer Matsuoka. The one who had been assigned Nagisa's case from day one. "I need you to come to the station. Right away."  
That was all. I gulped, texting Makoto to tell him I couldn't go to the mixer, as possibilities flooded my mind.  
There was a small part of me that hoped-dreamed of Nagisa being found. Alive and out of harm's way.  
But there was a larger part of me, the more logical side, that dreaded going to the police station. Because they had finally found Nagisa's body, and needed me to come ID it. Because they were sent some sort of video proving his death.  
I was completely trembling as I walked down the stairs, from Nagisa an-my fourth floor apartment. I wasn't shaking from the cold as I walked the few blocks to the police station. My heart was in my throat and I dreaded pushing open those glass and steel doors. But I did it. And I don't remember much else until another officer was seating me by Officer Matsuoka's desk.  
I fidget nervously, picking at a hangnail until it bleeds. I curse under my breath, and nearly jump out of my own skin as a hand finds its way to my shoulder.  
"Calm down," Office-Rin (as he has asked me to call him so many times) says before asking me to stand.  
"What's going on?" I ask shakily, body still trembling and heart still pounding.  
He smiles half heartedly, and I'm not sure how to take that, before he speaks, "I need you to come with me.  
'They are probably taking me to the scene. Where they found him.'  
I fight back tears as I follow him outside to his police car, getting in the passenger seat before asking him again, "What happened? Why did you ask me here and where are you taking me?" I don't mean to sound angry, but the tears I'm still fighting back are ever present.  
Rin takes a deep breath, "We got a tip yesterday. One of the victims managed to get their hands on a phone before telling police everything they could-what the assailant looked like, description of the location, even how many men were there who had been kidnapped-no names were mentioned. The call was disconnected suddenly, but it was enough to get a general idea of their location.  
"Well, about an hour ago, one of our techies identified the kidnapper and we immediately went to his place. There was only 3 people there out of the 17 victims. Out back, the dogs found several sets of bones."  
This is the part where I tense. I had already been clenching my fists, muscles in my arm taught as a tightwire. I gulp, again fighting back tears, "And? What did you find?"  
We have been driving for maybe 15 minutes, before Rin pulls into a long driveway leading to a farmhouse.  
"Fuck," I hiss, "I can't believe he was this close. I didn't even-" and now my tears are flowing, and I can't stop them.  
"None of us knew. 17 men were kidnapped. And we knew jack shit for years on end. We couldn't even find my..." I recall his boyfriend had been one of the one's kidnapped. Nitori, I think his name was. The case was personal to us both.  
"What did you find?" I repeat.  
He sighs before getting out of the car, coming over to open the door for me before helping me out.  
He leads me back behind the house, passing by the several ambulances with the three surviving victims.  
Rin grabs my shoulder before I cross the police line leading to a line of graves, wide across and holding so many bodies.  
"Let me know if you can ID anything. It's mostly skeletons, but they still have clothes. We can take that and use dental records to compare."  
I nod, gulping as I duck under the tape, head towards the first end of the ditch. Majority of the bodies are half zipped into body bags, but none of those-the nondecomposed ones-look like Nagisa.  
I stand on the edge, tears flooding my eyes as I catch sight of Nagisa's jacket on one of the skeletons, my heart plummeting.  
I take a shaky breath before turning around and heading towards Rin.  
"Any signs?" He says, but I know he can tell.  
He can tell from the tears on my face, my clenched fists. He can tell from my shaking and from my sobbing.  
"I saw him. He's the one in the white and blue jacket," I don't recognize my own voice as I speak. "I just can't believe he's gone. I was gonna propose, you know. On his birthday. It was only a few weeks away at the time...god, Nagisa is dead and I won't ever be able to-"  
I hear someone clear their throat behind me, hear a soft, "Rei-chan?"  
I turn around, my entire body trembling as my hand comes up to cover my mouth.  
Because...  
It's him. It's Nagisa.  
That blond boy with the fushia eyes and kind soul. The only person I was ever in love with and I couldn't be happier.  
Both of us are sobbing as I rush over to hold his face in my hands, "Is this real?"  
He nods, leaning into my touch and his voice rough as he finally speaks, "I really, really hope so."  
"I saw your jacket though," I try, and he speaks before I can say anymore.  
"I gave it to this small boy, Nitori. He was so sweet and-" Nagisa looks away, breath faltering.  
Rin clears his throat, "Do you want me to take you guys home? Nagisa's been cleared for the night and won't have to come in again until tomorrow."  
Nagisa's eyes are shining, hands gripping the front of my shirt as he stares up at me, voice so quiet, "C-can we?"  
He looks so fragile, face dirty and bags under his eyes. His clothes are covered in mud, and he looks like he hasn't eaten in days. Weeks, even. His cheekbones are hollow and his arms look like a bird's bones-thin and brittle. Like if I touched them at all he would break. His hair is matted and longer than I recall. They must have cut it. How else would it have stayed short for that long? God, what else had they done to him?  
I nod, because who could say no to that? I want to say no, that he needs medical attention before he comes back home.  
Home.  
My mind goes fuzzy as we climb into the back of the police car, clinging to each other like we're the last people on earth. And I wish we were. Because then I would know he was absolutely safe from all harm. I wouldn't ever let him go again. I would do my best to keep him safe and help him integrate back into daily life. It would probably be months before I could even kiss him, but what do I care? He's alive.  
By the time Rin is waving us goodbye and saying he'd be back tomorrow to bring Nagisa in for questioning, I'm doing everything I can to admire his face, staring at him as we wait for the elevator to bring us to the fourth floor.  
He stares right back, and he seems almost impatient as he waits for me to unlock the door.  
I hold his hand tightly as I guide him back to my room. Our room, I remind myself.  
Because he's home and this is all I've been dreaming off.  
We stand at the end of the bed, and I reach up to tuck his matted hair behind his ear, speaking quietly, "Do you want to shower?"  
His eyes go wide, and he nods vigorously. I chuckle softly, taking a deep breath as I go over to his old wardrobe, pulling out a change of clothes for him.  
"You kept all my things?" I hear him say from behind me.  
I nod as I hand him the clothes, "If you need anything, let me know."  
He breathes shakily, cluthing the clothes in one hand as he hugs me again, face buried in my chest, "I can't believe this."  
"Neither can I," is my quiet reply.  
He leaned back to look up at me, locking eyes, "You're the only reason I kept going. I thought if I just listened then one day I could-" his voice cracks, and I pull him to my chest once again before petting his hair.  
I'm surprised he doesn't jump from the touch.  
He backs away a bit, sniffling, muttering, "I love you," before heading towards the bathroom.  
I head to the kitchen to make him something small-just so he doesn't eat too much and get sick. And it's an hour later that I head towards the bedroom, setting his plate down on the bedside table before knocking on the bathroom door and calling out, "Nagisa? Is everything ok?"  
It's quiet for a moment before he replies, "Mhm! I just...all I've had is people hose me down for the past three years. It's nice."  
I chuckle softly, "Well, don't be in there much longer. You need rest."  
I realize there is a problem, so I speak it aloud, "I'll sleep in the living room on the couch and you can have the bed."  
"What?!" I hear the water turn off, and in minute the door flies open. Nagisa has one towel wrapped around his waist, and another over his shoulders. "Do you not..." He sighs, turning away and shutting the door.  
"Nagisa?" I call out again. His expression had been surprised, then obviously disappointed before he closed the door.  
"J-just..." His voice is quiet, but I can tell he's crying.  
"Nagisa, let me in."  
He's quiet for a few minutes, and I can hear the rustle of his clothes as he puts them on.  
"Do you not love me? I m-mean...I hoped I could come home and you'd be here. Waiting for me. But I knew you probably were tired of me anyways. I-I...you don't h-have to sleep with me if you d-dont want to," he hiccups, and I feel like crying as I push down the handle and open the door.  
Nagisa is sitting on the toilet with the lid to it closed, arms holding himself as he cries and rocks back and forth.  
I move to kneel in front of him, taking his hands, "Listen to me. I love you, doll. I always will."  
Nagisa's eyes snap to mine at the old pet name, before he throws his arms around me. "I'm so happy to hear that."  
I nod, hands moving to his sides hesitantly, "Can I-can I carry you?"  
He nods, and my heart swells with relief. This is the first time I've held him in years, and I have never, ever been happier.  
He cries softly, face buried in my chest until I set him on the bed so his back is leaning against the headboard.  
I grab the plate from the bedside table, placing it in his lap gently, "Why don't you eat a little bit of this, and I can find your old blanket, ok?"  
He nods, and I turn and head towards the closet. I know exactly where it is. So many times I had thought about getting rid of it, but in my heart I knew I never could. I kneel down, pushing aside my clothes and sliding the cardboard box closer to myself.  
I open up the flaps, fingers brushing along the soft fabric before pulling it out. I'm not sure how long I sit there, just holding it.  
But eventually I stand slowly, heading back into the bedroom, and I smile at the sight of Nagisa half awake and curled up, the plate with a half eaten sandwhich again resting on the bedside table. He smiles at me lazily, reaching out towards me. "C'mere," he mumbles.  
I chuckled softly, crawling in next to him but leaving a little space between us-all I want to do is make him uncomfortable with me-before draping the large blanket over both of us.  
He rolls over to face me, "I really can't believe this is real. I've been dreaming of this for forever."  
"Me too," I reach out to brush his still-damp bangs from his eyes.  
He moves closer, arms wrapping around me before he buries his face in my chest. I finally hug him back, burying my face in his hair.  
God, did I miss his scent.  
"Is it ok for me to talk about it sometimes?" He says suddenly after several moments of quiet.  
I nod, "Anytime you need."  
Nagisa reaches up to place a hand over my heart, "I've missed you so unbelievably much. You were the only reason I kept trying. The only reason I obeyed them. I knew if I just listened I'd be ok."  
I hum in response before he keeps going, "Why did you wait for me? Why didn't you just move on?"  
"I couldn't," I mutter against his hair, remaining quiet for several moments. "I love you wayyyyy too much."  
He giggles quietly, snuggling against me, "I haven't laughed like that in forever."  
I smile softly, "Nagisa...I missed you so much, love. More than you could ever know. Makoto tried to get me to move on, but whenever he set me up on a date with someone I just ended up talking about you."  
He gasps, pulling away to look at me. He grabs my face in his hands, "No way. I'm never gonna let someone else get their hands on you."  
I chuckle, leaning to kiss his forehead, "I promise I won't ever love anyone but you."  
"Forever?" Nagisa whispers.  
"And always."  
Nagisa smiles up at me.  
It's something we used to say to each other before the-well, incident. He had first said it when I had confessed I was in love with him, his response being "Will you love me forever?" I was terribly confused, so I asked him to rephrase the question.  
"Always," I had said back. It became a habit from then on out.  
Nagisa pulls me back to the present when he reaches up to take my glasses, folding them before turning to place them on the bedside table. He stares up at me with wide eyes, "I have a question."  
"I might have an answer."  
He rolls his eyes, but his smile gives him away-he isn't really annoyed by me-"Did you...mean what you said earlier?"  
"Depends on when and what I said," I say, reaching up to play with his hair.  
"You told that officer...uhm...you planned on proposing?" He tilts his head and boy is it adorable.  
I nod, leaning past him to push open the drawer on the bedside table, grabbing the small velvet box before sitting back and showing him, "I kept it."  
Nagisa's face is bright red as he hesitantly takes it from my hand, flipping it open, eyes going wide, "It's beautiful."  
"Like you," I tuck his hair behind his ear, "I got it since it matched the color of your eyes."  
I see him gulp-and hear it, too-before he takes it out and hands it to me.  
I'm awfully confused at the moment, not sure what to do as I take it.  
I get the idea when he holds out his left hand to me, a soft smile playing across his lips. I hold his hand gently as I slide it on his ring finger.  
As soon as I do, he throws his arms around me, giggling uncontrollably, "I love you, I love you, I love you."  
I laugh softly, hugging him back, "I love you just as much, doll."  
"So...is that offer still on the table?" He pulls away to look at me, hands around my neck.  
I nod incredibly fast, which makes him giggle more. And I realize how much I missed that sound.  
"But-" I begin, and his smile disappears, "Before we can even start planning anything, we have to get you healthy again." I poke his bony side, and he blushes furiously.  
"Why can't Rei-chan just spoil me since I'm home?" He pouted.  
"I just care about you," I reach up with one hand to hold his face, my thumb stroking his cheek gently.  
Nagisa's smile lights up my entire world.  
"Hmph, fine. What are my requirements?"  
I roll my eyes, kissing his forehead before speaking, "Well, I'd like you to be fully healed from all the bruises. You should be at an approriate weight, as well. And I would like if you'd go therapy."  
He groans, closing his eyes before pushing me on my back, laying his head on my chest and wrapping his arms around me, "Yeah, yeah."  
I start playing with his hair again, "I just need to make sure you're ok. After all these years...it's been hard. I mean, I can't imagine what you've been through, but it's hurt me too. I need to know you're ok."  
He nods, humming for several moments before speaking, "Alright. Let's just sleep, yeah?"  
"Mhm. I'm just hoping I dont wake up and find you aren't really here and this was all a dream."

 


End file.
